THE NEW SHADOW
THE NEW SHADOW
22. AFTER EVERYTHING
The hotel lobby was nearly empty. Dim lights. Cold air. An elegant quiet that felt almost unreal compared to the noise outside.
They walked side by side without touching. But aware of each other. Too aware.
The elevator arrived quickly. The doors opened with a soft ding. They stepped inside. Shane pressed the button for their floor without saying anything. The doors closed. And there it was again. That charged quiet. Only this time, it felt shorter. Denser. Ilya leaned back against the mirrored wall, arms crossed. He glanced at Shane from the corner of his eye. Shane kept looking straight ahead. Jaw tight. Breathing controlled. Like he was holding something back… or waiting for exactly the right moment. The elevator moved too slowly. Far too slowly. Ding. Their floor.
The doors opened. They stepped out. The hallway was empty. Thick carpet. Muted footsteps. Shane walked ahead, pulling the keycard from his pocket. He stopped at the door. Tapped it against the sensor. Green light. A small click. He turned the handle. Opened it. Then stepped aside without saying a word.
Shane dropped what he was carrying onto a chair. When he turned around, Ilya was already standing in front of him. Neither of them spoke. They didn’t need to. Shane kissed him. Ilya answered immediately. One hand at his waist. The other sliding up to his face.
Shane grabbed the front of his shirt and kissed him again, harder this time. Ilya pulled him closer. For a moment, everything else disappeared. Then Ilya stopped. Not abruptly. He simply stopped kissing him. Shane opened his eyes.
—What is it?
Ilya was still holding him.
But something in his expression had changed.
—I need to tell you something.
Shane stayed still.
—Now?
—Now.
That was enough to wipe the smile from Shane’s face.
Ilya slowly let go of his waist.
—Before we…
He didn’t finish.
His eyes dropped.
—I need to know that after you hear it… you still want to be here with me.
Shane watched him for a few seconds.
—Did you do something?
Ilya looked up.
—Yes.
Shane’s face changed immediately.
Ilya shook his head.
—Not like that.
—Then tell me.
Ilya took a deep breath.
—I told you nothing happened with João. And that’s true. I didn’t kiss him. I didn’t have sex with him. Nothing like that happened.
He looked down for a second.
—But that doesn’t mean I did everything right.
Shane didn’t answer.
Ilya continued.
—I was hurt. I was furious with you. And part of me wanted you to feel some of that too.
The words became harder as he went.
—I knew João felt something for me.
He stopped himself.
—Well… I wasn’t completely sure.
Shane lowered his eyes slightly.
—Since when?
—I don’t know exactly.
Ilya shook his head.
—But before that night… I already suspected it.
Shane said nothing.
—I didn’t do anything to stop it.
Shane looked back at him.
This time, Ilya held his gaze.
—Actually… I let him get closer.
His voice dropped.
—And I got closer too. More than I should have.
Shane swallowed.
He still didn’t say anything.
—I like him —Ilya continued—. We talk well. We just… get along.
He took another breath.
—And I looked at him more than I should have.
Shane looked away.
That hurt more than any reaction Ilya had imagined.
—Did you want something to happen?
Ilya took a moment before answering.
Not because he didn’t know.
Because he wanted to say it right.
—There were moments when my head got ahead of me.
Shane closed his eyes briefly.
Ilya didn’t try to touch him.
—But I didn’t do it.
Shane opened his eyes.
—That makes me a terrible person.
The answer came immediately.
—And if I’m telling you all this, it’s because if you decide to stay with me after everything I’m about to tell you… I don’t want to be the one deciding which parts of the truth you deserve.
He swallowed.
—I need to be completely honest with you, Shane.
His voice turned quieter.
—I have to tell you everything.
That made Shane look at him.
Ilya swallowed again.
—I fucked up, Shane.
His voice dropped.
—Seeing you with Rose Landry hit me hard. It hit my ego. But that doesn’t excuse anything I did.
He drew in a breath.
—I didn’t give you time to explain. I didn’t wait to find out what really happened. I decided to act like a fucking child.
His jaw tightened.
—What I did with that pain was my choice.
Ilya breathed.
—I can say I was angry. That I thought you’d been with her. That I thought you didn’t trust me. Blah blah blah. I can give you a hundred reasons.
He shook his head.
—None of them change what I did.
Shane remained still.
Then Ilya spoke again.
—If after you hear every detail… this changes what you want with me…
His voice cracked slightly.
—I’d rather it change now.
Shane looked up.
—What do you mean?
—I don’t want to get you back by hiding the parts that might hurt.
That left Shane without an answer.
For the next few minutes, they talked.
Ilya didn’t hide the looks.
The conversations.
Or the closeness that had started out innocent and slowly stopped being innocent.
He told him enough.
Without defending himself.
Without blaming João.
Without blaming Shane.
He took full responsibility.
When he finished, Shane stayed seated on the edge of the bed.
Ilya stood in front of him.
Waiting.
Finally, Shane breathed.
—It hurts.
Ilya lowered his eyes.
—I know.
—No. Let me finish.
Ilya went quiet.
Shane looked up at him.
—It hurts knowing you knew what was happening… and still let it keep happening.
His voice stayed controlled.
—And I’m probably going to overthink it for a while.
Ilya nodded.
—But I also know why I’m here.
Ilya slowly raised his eyes.
—I didn’t cross half the world because I expected to find a perfect relationship.
Shane took a breath.
—I came because I want to be with you.
Ilya didn’t move.
—That doesn’t mean all of this disappears tomorrow.
—I know.
—I’m gonna need time.
—I’ll give it to you.
Ilya stayed quiet for a few seconds.
Then he stepped slightly closer.
—Shane… what can I do to make things better between us?
Shane looked at him.
—Not fix it —Ilya added quickly—. I know I can’t just fix it.
His voice began to shake.
—But I don’t want to lose you.
Ilya Rozanov cried.
He couldn’t hold it back anymore.
Not after everything he had already said.
—What can I do so we can move forward together?
Shane’s eyes grew wet too.
He held Ilya’s gaze for several seconds before answering.
—Let me think.
Ilya waited.
—First… give me time.
Shane pointed lightly toward his head.
—Be patient with me while I get all this shit straight in here.
He breathed.
—There might be days when I think about it again. I might ask questions. There might be days when I act differently with you.
Ilya nodded.
—I understand.
His voice was quiet.
—I’ll give you all the time you need.
Shane took a deep breath.
—And second…
He thought about it.
—Trust.
Ilya frowned slightly.
—Trust?
—Yeah.
Shane looked down for a moment.
—I have to learn to trust you again without imagining things that never happened.
Then he looked back at him.
—And you have to trust me enough to talk to me before you do something like you did last time.
Ilya stood completely still.
—Don’t punish me by disappearing again.
—I won’t.
—Don’t try to make me feel what you’re feeling.
Ilya swallowed.
—I won’t.
Shane held his gaze.
—And with João…
Ilya waited.
—I’m not gonna ask you to cut him out of your life. You’re still on the same team.
That surprised him.
—Shane…
—You care about him. I know.
Shane’s eyes were still wet.
—and he’s going to keep being around you. I can’t control what he feels for you.
He shook his head slightly.
—I don’t want to.
Then he looked directly into Ilya’s eyes.
—But you can control what you do with that.
The room felt very still.
—That’s the only thing I’m asking.
His voice softened.
—Don’t give him even one chance to ever take advantage of that. Not one.
He swallowed.
—Please.
Ilya slowly held out his hand.
Shane looked at it.
Then took it.
—I promise.
Ilya intertwined their fingers.
—None of this is going to happen again.
Shane squeezed his hand.
—I have things I need to do better too.
Ilya shook his head slightly.
—Nine years, Shane.
His eyes stayed on him.
—Nine years.
A breath.
—And after everything that happened… I know you better now. I know what you’re willing to do for me.
That earned the smallest smile from Shane.
—That sounds really weird coming from you.
Ilya breathed out through his nose.
—Don’t ruin the moment.
The smile stayed for only a few seconds.
Then the room settled again.
But it wasn’t the same.
Nothing was completely fixed.
They weren’t where they had been before.
Maybe they never would be exactly there again.
But they were still sitting together.
Still holding hands.
And for now…
that was enough.
They stayed like that for several minutes.
Ilya brushed his thumb over Shane’s fingers once.
Then finally let go.
—I’m going to shower.
Shane nodded.
—Okay.
Ilya stood.
Before walking into the bathroom, he looked back at him.
For a moment, it seemed like he wanted to say something else.
He didn’t.
He closed the door.
The water had been running for several minutes.
Ilya stood beneath it with his eyes closed.
He didn’t know exactly what he was supposed to feel.
Relieved wasn’t the word.
Neither was calm.
He had told the truth.
All the parts that mattered.
And Shane was still there.
He had chosen not to leave him.
For now… that was enough.
Then he heard the bathroom door close.
Ilya opened his eyes.
Shane was standing there.
Ilya went still.
He hadn’t expected him.
Not after the conversation they had just had.
Shane stepped into the shower.
Slowly.
Neither of them spoke.
Ilya watched him, searching his face for an answer he was too afraid to ask for.
Shane simply held out his hand.
Ilya took it.
For a few seconds, they stayed like that.
Both beneath the water.
Both breathing out almost at the same time.
They didn’t pull away.
The water ran between them.
Shane moved first. He picked up the soap. Looked at it for a second. Then at Ilya. And without saying anything, he pressed it gently against his skin. Slowly. From his chest downward. Soft pressure. But certain. Ilya didn’t react immediately. He only atched him. His eyes following the path of Shane’s hand. The lather slowly began to form. White. Sliding across his skin. Shane continued. Moving upward again. Changing direction. Slower now. More aware.
Ilya swallowed. He said nothing. But his expression changed. A faint flush. Heavier breathing. His hands stayed still… like he didn’t know whether to reach for Shane or simply let himself be cared for.
Still with too much to process.
Still hurt.
But together.
Shane rested his forehead against Ilya’s.
Ilya closed his eyes.
They didn’t need to pretend everything was fixed.
Shane still needed time.
Ilya would have to learn how to give it to him.
But in that moment… Shane needed Ilya. The same way Ilya needed Shane.
And this time, when Shane kissed him, Ilya didn’t try to decide what it meant before it happened. He just kissed him back. And let everything else come on its own.
Shane lifted his eyes. They met there. Inches apart. No words. Only that tension… new. Different.
The gesture reversed without either of them needing to ask. Ilya took the soap this time. He slid it over Shane’s body, but not with the same initial awkwardness. Now there was intention. More care. More patience. His fingers brushing over Shane’s skin with something far beyond routine.
The water had turned hot. Steam wrapped around everything. The space shrank. Became smaller. More intimate.
The shampoo came next. Shane opened the bottle and poured some into his palm. Ilya tilted his head slightly. Shane started massaging it in slowly, fingers sinking into his hair. Ilya closed his eyes for a second and exhaled softly.
Then it happened the other way around. Ilya doing the same to him. Their hands meeting between soap and steam, sliding over each other without hurry. As if time had genuinely stopped inside that shower.
When they finally stepped out, the cold air hit them instantly. The contrast made them both react. Towels. Slower movements now. Breathing gradually settling. Shane was drying his hair when he suddenly remembered.
—Wait…”
Ilya looked at him.
—What?”
Shane searched through his things until he found the package.
—Hayden gave me this…” he lifted it slightly, “said we should open it when we were alone.”
Ilya frowned faintly.
—That sounds dangerous.”
—I know,” Shane replied. “He was acting weird when he gave it to me.”
They opened it.
Silence.
One second.
Two.
Shane let out a dry laugh.
—You’ve got to be kidding me…”
Ilya stepped closer, looked inside… then burst out laughing under his breath.
—Of course. Had to be Hayden.”
Inside the box was a pair of jockstraps.
Shane shook his head in disbelief.
—I’m going to kill him.”
Still smiling, Ilya picked one up between his fingers.
—What?” he said casually. “They’re… interesting.”
—I’m not wearing that,” Shane answered immediately.
Ilya tilted his head slightly.
—Shane…”
He stepped closer.
—Please don’t make me beg.”
Shane exhaled, trying not to laugh.
—This is ridiculous.”
Ilya raised an eyebrow.
—It’ll be fun.”
Pause.
—Come on.”
Shane stared at him for a few seconds. Evaluating. Shaking his head… but already giving in.
—If this goes badly… it’s your fault.”
Ilya smiled.
—It’s always my fault.”
A moment later, they were both wearing them. Without announcing anything else, Ilya gently pushed Shane back onto the bed. Shane let out a nervous laugh, still adjusting to the feeling—the cold air in the room moving across his exposed skin, making him aware of every inch of his body.
—This feels… weird,” he muttered.
Ilya looked down at him with a smile that wasn’t entirely innocent anymore.
—Doesn’t look like you hate it.”
And he didn’t. Not really.
Ilya leaned down toward him. The first kisses were soft. Slow. Like they were reconnecting. But it didn’t last long. The rhythm changed. The air thickened. Shane’s heartbeat sped up… and Ilya’s wasn’t far behind. Ilya moved over his body without rushing, stopping, exploring, like he wanted to memorize him all over again. Something about this felt different. It wasn’t their first time. But it felt… more intense. More unrestrained.
Shane closed his eyes for a second and let himself drift into it completely. Feeling. Present. Whole. Protected. Loved. Like in that moment… nothing else in the world was necessary.
At some point, Ilya pulled back slightly.
—Wait…” he murmured.
He got up to grab a condom. Shane followed him with his eyes. And that was when he saw him. From behind. The shape of his body. The confidence in the way he moved. And something inside Shane… shifted. He pushed himself up slightly onto his elbows. When Ilya came back, Shane spoke first.
—I want something.”
Ilya frowned slightly, surprised.
—Oh yeah?”
He moved closer again.
—What?”
Shane looked directly at him.
—Don’t take the jockstrap off…” he said quietly. “Let me take care of you this time.”
Ilya watched him for a few seconds. Analyzing him.
—Shane…” he half-smiled, “just say what you mean.”
Shane shook his head and moved closer.
—Trust me.”
Ilya didn’t answer.
But he didn’t pull away either.
That was answer enough.
Shane turned him gently, hands settling on his waist. The contact shifted immediately. Slower. More intentional. His hands moved first—learning, measuring, taking their time… like he wanted to understand every reaction before going further. Ilya’s body tensed slightly at first. Not from rejection. From surprise.
—Shane…” he murmured quietly, “what are you doing?”
Shane didn’t answer right away. He only leaned closer, letting the contact stay gradual… restrained. Nothing rough. Nothing invasive. Just… exploration.
The first touch alone was enough to change the entire atmosphere. Ilya exhaled harder this time, fingers tightening slightly against the sheets. It wasn’t something he’d anticipated. But he didn’t stop him either.
Shane kept the pace gentle. Never forcing. Never crossing any line. Like he instinctively knew exactly how far to go… and stay there.
Shane’s mouth moved with restrained urgency, like he was discovering something new and didn’t want it to end.
—Shane…” Ilya repeated, his voice tighter now, “wait…”
Shane stopped instantly.
—Do you want me to stop?”
Silence.
Ilya shook his head faintly, breathing uneven.
—No…”
Pause.
—Keep going… like that.”
And that was when Ilya stopped questioning it. Because he understood. It wasn’t about control. It was about trust. Letting go. Something new… something they were both discovering at the same time.
Shane had never heard Ilya moan before. It was different. Intense. Something he had never experienced before. A sound that sent a shiver through him.
And right then, Shane wanted only one thing.
Not to stop.
Not to slow down.
Not to stop hearing him.
Shane couldn’t hold back anymore, and without even touching himself, the release came without warning.
Later, Ilya turned back toward him, moving close again and taking Shane’s face between his hands. He looked straight into his eyes.
—You don’t give me a break…
Shane smiled slightly.
—Are you complaining?
Ilya shook his head, brushing his forehead against Shane’s.
—Not at all.
Later, Ilya pulled him back toward him again, cupping his face between his hands. Looking at him directly.
—You never give me a break…”
Shane smiled faintly.
—Are you complaining?.”
Ilya shook his head, brushing his forehead softly against Shane’s.
—Not even a little.”
The rest wasn’t rushed anymore. It was rhythm. Connection. Them. And when they finally became still, breathing close together, Ilya brushed his hand over Shane’s face more softly now.
—We have to leave tomorrow…”
Shane looked at him.
—I know.”
Pause.
—But not right now.”
Ilya nodded slowly.
—Not right now.”
And they stayed there. Motionless. Silent. As if the world could wait a little longer.
The next morning in Canada, the storm had already passed. The runways were clear again. Flights fully back on schedule. Practices returning to routine. The pause… was over. Everything was waiting for them there.
Here in Rio, the weather was still perfect. Warm. Light. Like time itself wasn’t in any hurry to move forward. But reality was. Going back wasn’t some distant idea anymore. It was the next thing waiting for them.
They’d be flying back on the private jet. All they had to do was notify the company… there would be one extra passenger.
From early morning on, everything moved differently. More focused. More aware. Ilya left the hotel early to wrap up the final obligations with the sponsoring company. João was there too. Quick meetings. Polite goodbyes. Promises to come back someday. Everything perfectly organized. But mentally… neither of them was fully there anymore.
When they finished, João stepped out first to get the car. Minutes later he was already waiting outside, sunglasses on, one hand resting casually on the wheel like nothing in the world had changed.
—Ready?” he asked.
Ilya nodded… but didn’t move immediately.
He stared ahead for a second.
—Hey…”
João turned his head slightly.
—Hmm?”
Ilya exhaled through his nose.
—We haven’t talked about everything that happened that night…
For a moment, neither of them said anything.
João didn’t answer right away. He just looked at him… and a slow smile began to spread across his face.
—…Did you really forget what happened?
Ilya grimaced.
—Not completely.” He dragged a hand through his hair. “But… let’s just say there are some missing pieces.”
Pause.
—Help me reconstruct the disaster.”
João laughed quietly, shaking his head as he started driving.
—Wow…” he looked ahead again. “I thought Russians could drink more than that.”
Ilya scoffed.
—Shut up.”
João kept going, amused now.
—No, seriously. I was fine… completely calm… and then out of nowhere you got this look on your face like the world was ending.”
Ilya closed his eyes briefly.
—Don’t tell me…”
—Oh, I’m telling you.” João laughed. “I took you to the bathroom… and on the way there you spilled your drink all over me.”
Ilya turned slowly toward him.
—What?”
João lifted one hand, gesturing toward his torso.
—Everywhere.”
Pause.
—That’s why I ended up sleeping without clothes on.”
Ilya stared at him for a second before letting out a short disbelieving laugh.
—Jesus Christ…”
João shook his head, still smiling.
—When I came out of the bathroom, you were asleep in my bed. I guess you couldn’t make it back to your room. And you fell asleep in seconds.
Ilya didn’t say anything for a moment.
—I just… stayed there.
Ilya glanced at him. Not uncomfortable… but definitely paying attention. João caught the look and, without losing his calm, added:
—I already told you. Nothing happened between us.
The car moved smoothly down the street. Ilya nodded faintly, eyes returning to the road ahead.
—…good.”
João looked at him for another second.
—Although,” he added with a slight sideways smile, “you talk a lot when you’re drunk.”
Ilya snapped his head toward him immediately.
—No.”
—Yeah.”
—No.”
João laughed.
—Yeah.”
Pause.
—But relax… I know how to keep secrets.”
Ilya narrowed his eyes slightly.
—You better.”
João just smiled… and kept driving.
Later, the hotel was only a quick stop. Shane was already waiting in the lobby when they arrived. And this time… there was no tension. Just a strange kind of calm. The kind that settles in when you know something good… is about to end. The suitcases were sitting beside the couch. When he saw them, Shane put his phone away and stood up.
—Finally.
Ilya smiled.
—Good to see you too.
João looked at the suitcases. Then at Shane.
Something seemed to cross his mind.
—Rozanov, can you do me a favor?
Ilya raised an eyebrow.
—What do you need?
—I left my wallet in the car. I want to leave something for the hotel staff.
Shane frowned.
—I already tipped them.
—I want to leave a little more.
Ilya looked at João.
João held his gaze.
One second.
Two.
Ilya understood.
—Okay. I’ll be right back.
—It’s in the glove compartment.
João handed him the keys.
—Thanks.
Ilya walked toward the elevators.
João waited until the doors closed.
Shane let out a small laugh.
—That was a terrible excuse.
João smiled, a little uncomfortable.
—I needed a minute with you.
—But we talked last night.
—I know.
The smile disappeared.
—I just wasn’t completely honest with you.
Shane watched him.
—I didn’t tell you everything that happened between Ilya and me.
—Don’t worry.
João stopped.
—I already know.
João stared at him.
—What?
—Ilya told me everything.
For the first time, João looked genuinely uncomfortable.
—Everything?
Shane made a face.
—More than I wanted to know.
João lowered his eyes.
—Look —Shane continued— I don’t want to make this bigger than it already was. So I’m going to ask you three things.
João looked back at him.
—Did you kiss him?
—No.
—Did you have sex with him?
—No.
Shane took a moment before asking the last one.
—Did either of you cross a line you can’t look back on and honestly tell me you stopped?
João held his gaze.
—No.
Shane nodded.
—Then that’s enough for me.
João looked surprised.
—That’s it?
—Yeah.
Shane gave a slight shrug.
—I’d rather not know the rest. I already have enough imagination.
A small smile appeared on João’s face.
It disappeared quickly.
—Shane, I wanted to apologize for—
—It’s okay.
João stopped.
Shane took a breath.
—Ilya cares about you a lot. He considers you his friend. And he doesn’t want to lose that.
João lowered his eyes slightly.
—And I’m with him —Shane continued— so you and I are gonna have to be okay.
João looked at him, confused.
—Be okay?
—I’m not saying you and I are gonna become best friends.
João let out a small laugh.
—Thank God.
—Exactly.
Shane smiled.
—I’m just saying we’re gonna coexist. For him.
João slowly nodded.
—I can do that.
—Good.
João took a breath.
—But I still need to say I’m sorry for—
Ding.
The elevator doors opened.
They both turned.
Ilya stepped out with the wallet in one hand and the keys in the other.
He looked at Shane.
Then at João.
His eyes narrowed slightly.
João reached for the wallet.
—Thank you very much.
Ilya didn’t let go of it right away.
—Everything okay?
João looked at Shane.
Shane looked back at him.
—Everything’s fine —João said.
Ilya picked up one of the suitcases.
—I guess someday I’ll find out.
The car pulled away again. And this time… the silence didn’t last. The radio turned on almost automatically. A few seconds of static. Then—
🎶 “All the things she said… all the things she said…” 🎶
João grinned immediately.
—No fucking way… do you guys know this song?”
Ilya let out a sarcastic laugh.
—Don’t even start.”
Shane looked at both of them.
—Jesus Christ.”
And within seconds… all three of them were singing. Loudly. Shamelessly. Like their lives depended on it.
—🎶 Running through my head, running through my head… 🎶
João drummed against the steering wheel to the beat. Ilya exaggerated every lyric dramatically. Shane tried to stay serious.
Failed after ten seconds.
—🎶 This is not enough… 🎶
The three of them broke into laughter between lines without ever fully stopping the song. For a few minutes… there was no goodbye.
No Canada. Nothing waiting for them. Just the three of them in a car… singing like tomorrow didn’t exist.
João’s house rose into view again in silence. Elegant. Massive. Immaculate. Shane stepped out of the car and looked around one more time, like he was finally processing it properly this time.
—…wow.”
Ilya didn’t even bother looking.
—Yeah.”
Pause.
—He literally lacks nothing.”
Inside, the house already felt alive. And it didn’t take long to confirm it.
—¡João!”
His grandmother appeared from deeper inside the house, carrying that same soft but steady presence. She approached with a genuine smile.
—Your friends came…”
She looked at them warmly.
—I’m so happy you boys came all the way to Brazil to visit my grandson.”
She cupped João’s face gently.
—He has a beautiful heart… he’s a wonderful person.”
Pause.
—And don’t tell your sister… but you’re my favorite.”
João let out a soft laugh.
—Grandma…”
Then she turned toward Shane.
—I’m going to have your room prepared, sweetheart.”
Shane nodded politely.
—Thank you. Seriously.”
She smiled at him… then walked away.
The second she disappeared, Ilya leaned closer toward Shane, lips almost brushing his ear.
—Don’t worry… around midnight I’ll sneak into your room.”
Shane turned toward him, barely containing his laughter.
—Relax… we’re guests here.”
Ilya didn’t even blink.
—I don’t care.”
Shane let out a low laugh, shaking his head.
—Asshole.”
The afternoon passed slowly. Food. Light conversations. Real rest.
Until—
—Guys.”
João appeared in the doorway.
—Get ready.”
He crossed his arms casually.
—Tonight’s your farewell.”
Ilya raised an eyebrow.
—Another party?”
Pause.
—Does nobody in this country work?”
João smiled.
—Trust me.”
He pointed down the hallway.
—Comfortable clothes… and don’t forget your flip-flops.”
Shane lifted one sandal immediately.
—Don’t worry. I already look local.”
João closed his bedroom door afterward and leaned against it heavily, taking a long breath. He dragged a hand down his face.
—I’m not okay…” he murmured quietly.
Pause.
—But I understand now.”
Another pause.
—Come on… be strong.”
Meanwhile, the freshly prepared guest room sat in silence, but not an uncomfortable one. It was the kind of silence that already felt shared. Shane stood near the bed, looking through his open suitcase. Pulling out a shirt. Putting it back. Not really deciding anything. Ilya watched him from the other side of the room, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.
—Idiot…” Shane finally said without looking at him yet. “I have an idea.”
Ilya lifted one eyebrow slightly.
—That never ends well.”
Shane let out a quiet nasal laugh.
—This might sound stupid…”
Pause.
—Actually no, it definitely sounds stupid.”
That finally made him look up.
—Could we… swap clothes?”
Ilya went still.
—What?”
Shane shrugged lightly but never broke eye contact.
—Your clothes… mine.”
Pause.
—Just for tonight.”
Ilya narrowed his eyes, studying him carefully.
—Why?”
Shane hesitated for a second. But he didn’t back away.
—Because…” he breathed out slowly, “I want it to feel like… something that belongs to us.”
Pause.
Softer now:
—Like a reminder that… I’m yours… and you’re mine.”
The silence changed instantly. Ilya pushed himself off the wall and walked toward him slowly. No rush. Never breaking eye contact. He stopped directly in front of him. Close. Too close. His hands settled on Shane’s waist, pulling him just a little closer—enough for the space between them to disappear completely. He didn’t kiss him. Just looked at him. That dangerous look of his. Full of intention. Full of hidden meaning. He leaned slightly toward Shane’s ear.
—On one condition.”
Shane closed his eyes briefly, already smiling.
—Oh, fuck off…” he muttered softly. “There’s always a catch with you.”
He looked at him again.
—And I already know what you’re going to ask for.”
Ilya didn’t answer immediately. Just held his gaze.
—So…” he finally said, “do we have a deal or not?”
Shane didn’t move. Didn’t let go of his waist either.
They stayed there. Close. Pressed together. Holding onto each other without any rush.
—You never give me a day off…” Shane murmured.
Ilya smiled faintly, completely shameless.
—I went way too many days without any action.”
Pause.
—We need to catch up.”
Shane shook his head, already smiling anyway.
—Asshole.”
Ilya didn’t answer. He just closed the distance. And this time… he kissed him.
Before leaving, João handed them masks. Different ones. Elegant. Along with a few accessories.
—In case you want to stay unnoticed.”
The car moved through the streets of Rio. That night, they had simply decided to let someone else drive. All three of them sat in the back. Shane in the middle. Ilya by one window. João by the other.
Outside, the city seemed unwilling to accept that Carnival was over. There were still people outside bars, music spilling from rooftops, couples dancing on the sidewalks. One group crossed the street carrying feathers, their bodies still covered in glitter.
Shane watched them go by.
—Do these people not work?
João turned toward him.
—What?
—Seriously. Since I got here, all I see is people dancing, drinking, singing… when do they work?
João smiled.
—Welcome to Brazil.
—No, but I really don’t get it. Everyone looks happy.
He gestured toward the window.
—It’s like you’re all born wearing a bracelet that says, “No worries for life.”
João laughed.
—No. We have problems like everybody else.
—Doesn’t look like it.
—It’s Brazil. We can have problems and dance at the same time.
Ilya laughed.
—That explains many things.
Shane turned back to João.
—Then what the fuck are you doing in Canada? Freezing your ass off?
Ilya immediately started laughing.
—Exactly! I asked him same thing.
Shane looked at him.
—No fucking way.
—Yes.
João shook his head.
—You two talk too much.
—No —Shane said—. I’m trying to understand why anyone would trade this for Ottawa.
João looked outside.
—Hockey.
—Wrong answer.
—Money.
—Better.
—And because I wanted to prove I could do it.
Shane nodded.
—Okay. That one I’ll accept.
João smiled.
Then he looked at him with a little mischief.
—Although… wasn’t Ilya supposed to have told you everything already?
Shane went still.
Ilya slowly turned toward them.
—Oh.
Shane looked at João.
—Everything what?
—I don’t know. You said he told you everything.
—Well…
Shane gave Ilya a sideways glance.
—I imagine there are still a few details he forgot to mention.
Ilya’s eyes lit up.
—Details?
Shane immediately raised a finger.
—No.
—I love giving details.
—Ilya.
João started laughing.
Ilya leaned slightly forward.
—João, let me tell you—
Shane slapped a hand over his mouth.
—Don’t even think about it.
Ilya tried to speak behind his hand.
—Mmmff…
—Rozanov, I’m warning you.
Ilya finally pulled Shane’s hand away.
—What? I was only going to tell him—
—Tell him anything, and I’ll tell him about Hayden’s gift.
That did it.
Ilya went completely still.
João stopped laughing.
He looked at Shane.
Then at Ilya.
—What gift from Hayden?
Ilya slowly turned his face toward the window.
A beat passed.
—It is not so hot today.
João blinked.
—What?
Ilya suddenly seemed fascinated by the street outside.
—I think it’s cooler than yesterday.
Shane covered his mouth, trying not to laugh.
João pointed at him.
—No. Wait. What gift?
—Nothing —Shane said.
—Clearly it’s not nothing.
—It’s not important.
João looked at Ilya.
—Rozanov.
Nothing.
—What did Hayden give you?
Ilya continued admiring Rio.
—Beautiful city.
Shane lost the battle and burst out laughing.
—Shane! —Ilya protested.
—What? I haven’t said anything.
João leaned a little closer to Shane.
—Tell me.
Ilya turned sharply.
—Shane.
That was enough.
Shane looked at him.
Then at João.
—I think I need a couple drinks before I tell that story.
—Shane!
João burst out laughing.
—Now I definitely want to know.
—You are not knowing anything —Ilya said.
—We’ll see.
—There is nothing to see.
—That sounds exactly like someone who has something to hide.
Ilya turned back toward the window.
—Fuck both of you.
Shane smiled.
—I love you too.
Ilya tried to keep a straight face.
He couldn’t.
João watched them for a moment before looking back toward the street.
—My friends are gonna be at the beach tonight.
—The same ones from Carnival? —Ilya asked.
—Some of them. And some you haven’t met yet.
Shane looked out the window again.
—And they all know how to dance like that?
—Pretty much.
—Great.
João caught the tone immediately.
—You don’t know how to dance?
—I know how to move.
Ilya burst out laughing.
Shane turned toward him.
—Shut up.
—I have seen how you move.
—Exactly why you need to shut up.
João laughed.
—You’re dancing tonight.
—No.
—Yes.
—João, I’m Canadian.
—That’s not a disability.
Ilya doubled over laughing.
—That was good.
Shane looked at both of them.
—You can both go fuck yourselves.
—Besides —João continued— nobody’s gonna care how you dance.
—That makes it worse.
—Why?
—Because there’ll be more people watching me make an idiot of myself.
Ilya jumped in.
—I can teach you.
Shane slowly turned toward him.
—You are the last person in this car who should be offering dance lessons.
João’s eyes widened.
—Wait. Rozanov can’t dance?
—No —Shane answered.
—Yes, I can.
—No.
—I danced at Carnival.
João raised a finger.
—That is true.
Ilya smiled triumphantly.
—Thank you.
João finished:
—But nobody said you did it well.
Shane burst out laughing and leaned forward.
Ilya looked at João like he’d been betrayed.
—You are asshole.
—I’m just telling the truth.
Shane was still laughing.
—Oh my God…
Ilya crossed his arms.
—Fine. I’m not dancing tonight.
João shook his head.
—No, no. Tonight, we all dance.
The beach… was something else entirely. Live music. Samba. Batucada. People dancing, laughing, touching each other without fear. It wasn’t chaos. It was… freedom.
The sand was still warm beneath their feet. The music wasn’t something you simply heard… it was something you felt. The rhythm of the drums vibrated inside your chest, constant, consuming, like a collective heartbeat nobody questioned. Shane slowed the moment they stepped onto the beach. Looked around carefully. Hanging lights swaying with the wind. People laughing without restraint. Bodies moving without shame.
—…this is something else,” he murmured.
Beside him, Ilya smiled faintly.
—I told you.”
João had already moved ahead a few steps, greeting people, exchanging handshakes, hugs, shoulder bumps like everyone there somehow belonged to him.
—João!”
Lia appeared first, wrapping her arms around him immediately.
—Look who you brought with you!”
Rafael and Bruno came right after, cheek kisses, pats on the back, easy laughter.
—These are the Canadians,” João said, pulling them closer into the group. “Ilya… Shane.”
—Nice to meet you,” Lia said warmly, hugging Shane without hesitation. “First time in Brazil?”
—Yeah…” he answered, still adapting to how physically close everyone was.
—and you’re still alive in this heat?” Rafael added with a laugh.
Ilya raised his drink slightly.
—Barely.”
Bruno looked at them with genuine curiosity.
—When are you leaving?”
—Tomorrow.”
—Ah…” Lia made a face. “Then tonight you really need to enjoy yourselves.”
—Trust me…” Shane replied, “we are.”
And for the first time… he genuinely meant it.
João disappeared briefly into the crowd before returning with drinks.
—Caipirinhas,” he announced, handing them over. “Trust me.”
Shane took one sip and immediately grimaced.
—Jesus, this hits hard.”
Ilya laughed quietly.
—You’ll find out in a few minutes.”
The music grew louder. Faster. And João didn’t hesitate.
—Come on,” he told Shane, grabbing him by the arm. “Let’s go.”
—No, no, absolutely not,” Shane resisted immediately. “Not happening.”
Too late.
Ilya gave him a slight push forward.
—Go. I need to see this.”
And suddenly Shane was standing in the middle of the sand, stiff and painfully aware of his own body. João moved effortlessly in front of him—fluid, natural, completely at home in the rhythm.
—Follow the beat.”
—There is no beat,” Shane replied. “There’s just chaos.”
Ilya crossed his arms nearby, enjoying this way too much.
—Looks like you missed samba lessons.”
Shane shot him a look somewhere between annoyed and amused.
—I hate you.”
João laughed softly.
—No, no… relax your body.”
He tried guiding him. Shane tried following. Failed immediately. Ilya laughed without even attempting to hide it.
—We’ll catch you up once we’re back in Canada,” he teased.
Shane pointed at him instantly.
—Don’t you dare.”
But he was already smiling.
The music kept playing. Rafael appeared beside him. At first, he didn’t say anything. He just stood there and watched with him. Then he leaned slightly toward João’s ear.
—You’re doing really well.
João let out a quiet laugh without looking away.
—You have no fucking idea what I’m feeling inside.
He took a breath.
—But I’m better today than I was yesterday.
Rafael squeezed his arm.
—I’m here with you, brother. I know you’re gonna get through this.
João turned toward him.
—And you know why?
João raised an eyebrow.
—Tell me.
Rafael smiled.
—Because you’re fucking João Costa.
João breathed out through his nose.
—And you can handle this.
This time, João didn’t answer.
His eyes grew slightly wet.
He shook his head, trying to hide it, but Rafael had already seen.
João hugged him.
Hard.
—Thank you, brother —he murmured—. For being here with me.
Rafael gave him a couple of pats on the back.
—Nothing to thank me for.
He pulled away and pointed at João’s face.
—Now wipe that off and let’s keep enjoying the party.
João laughed.
He ran a hand over his eyes.
—Asshole.
—But you’re smiling.
João looked at him.
And this time, he couldn’t deny it.
Later, Ilya and Shane walked through the crowd. Sometimes wearing their masks. Sometimes lowering them. Playing with the anonymity. Watching. Taking everything in.
A girl danced past them. Beautiful, confident, laughing with someone else. Without meaning to, Ilya followed her with his eyes for barely a second.
Shane didn’t say anything.
He just gave Ilya a small pinch on the arm.
—I saw that.
Ilya turned toward him, amused.
—I was looking at her bracelets.
—Fuck off.
Ilya smiled.
—I like when you are like this.
And they laughed together.
Eventually they drifted closer to the shoreline. The dark ocean calm and endless beside them. The perfect contrast to the chaos behind. The noise softened there… but never fully disappeared. It simply became part of the background.
Shane took a deep breath.
—Look at this…”
Ilya looked at him first.
Then up at the sky.
—Yeah… it’s nice.”
Shane shook his head faintly.
—No.”
He leaned slightly closer.
—It’s beautiful.”
Ilya held his gaze for a second too long.
Then, quieter now—
—Almost as beautiful as you.”
Shane didn’t answer immediately. But that half-smile of his… said everything.
The first explosion in the sky caught them both by surprise. Fireworks. Colors tearing through the darkness. Reflections dancing over the water. Across their faces. Without looking at each other… their hands searched instinctively. First barely brushing. Then pinkies hooking together. Subtle. Invisible to everyone else. But enough for them.
Ilya never took his eyes off the sky. But his pinky slowly brushed against Shane’s once. Then again. Such a tiny gesture. Carrying far too much meaning.
Not everything between them was okay. Not yet. Some things needed time. Others, they would have to learn how to repair together. But they had promised each other they wouldn’t run away again. And for now, moving forward together—even if it was slowly—was enough.
Shane exhaled slowly without letting go.
—We have to go back…”
Ilya answered without looking at him.
—I know.”
Pause. But he still didn’t let go of his hand.
He leaned slightly closer, enough that nobody else could hear him.
—You have a serious problem.”
Shane turned slightly toward him.
—What problem?”
Ilya smiled faintly, almost imperceptibly.
—I’m not going to leave your life easily… trust me.”
A deep silence settled between them.
The sky exploded again.
Brighter this time. Louder.
Shane looked directly at him now.
Clear.
Certain.
—I like that problem.”
Pause.
Lower now:
—and I don’t want that problem leaving my life.”
And they stayed there. Connected by that tiny gesture. Watching the sky together. Without needing to say anything else.
WAIT… DID YOU REALLY THINK THIS WAS THE END? 👀
Not even close.
The New Shadow still has a few surprises left.
The final chapters — 23 & 24 — arrive Sunday, August 23.
Two chapters.
One final release.
And the end of a story that changed everything.
Stay tuned. The shadow hasn’t disappeared just yet. 🖤🔥